The bear always says what he wants. He attaches himself to me with masking tape whenever I feel a degree of self deception overcoming my vision. Through the bear I can see the outline of possibility again. Afterwards I feel quite drained as if I had been a shamanic conduit for the confusion of others. I cannot be sure about this because after I remove the bear from my face I cannot remember anything. I now find that whenever I watch alien with Sigourney Weaver who I like very much the screen becomes very blurry and I feel sick. Now I just close my eyes and imagine the action. Sometimes the narrative becomes extraordinarily vivid and I have to go outside into the garden where I find peace.